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Any woman who's used any kind of dating app has been confronted with this most bemusing question, posed by what we can only imagine are men who have had wood for so dangerously long they've begun to experience brain death. The idea of a quick-and-dirty “Who wants to help me achieve orgasm?

with a chub and a smartphone—but in a sober state of mind, do you really think this approach will work? But also don't give up on enjoying casual, consensual, enjoyable sex with the help of your smartphone.

The good news: There are so many dudes out there doing it So Very Wrong that a woman is likely to appreciate a man who does this right.

You may not qualify yourself a tech-wizard, but you know how to track down information when you suspect something’s amiss. Read on for 7 apps you don’t want you boyfriend to have.